Midnight in the Garden of My Bedroom Awake Not Sleeping Staring At My Computer

I have only slept, maybe, 10 hours total in the last three days. I just drank a can of Coke which is like making a promise to my body to not go to sleep until 4am for no reason. I took the day off work tomorrow because having longer weekends than work-weeks makes living easier.

My plan was to watch movies until my eyes Would Not Stay Open but I can’t figure out what to watch. This is the problem I have, I always know what I want a movie to make me feel like but you can’t type feelings into search engines and expect results. I have seen or heard of everything probably, I wish this weren’t true honestly come on 1978-1983 give me something new.

Instead of looking through movies I have that I haven’t watched I have kind of been staring at my computer screen, a blank browser window, hoping that maybe something will happen, while listening to the 1982 Alan Parsons Project album Eye in the Sky. The first four tracks are pretty much perfect. I’m up to track six now, and tracks five and six have not been as good, I’m a little sad about that.

Before I listened to this I listened to Meredith Monk’s Turtle Dreams which was actually completely perfect and I don’t really know why I’m not just listening to that again right now. There is a 3 minute or so sample from the titular track on UBU web from some comp, and I have listened to that probably 200 times without ever considering that the entire song (yet alone album) that the track is from would be something easily accessible.

Allmusic.com just inadvertently pointed out to me that, probably, my favorite mood in music is “dramatic.” I wish there were a way to do some sort of search on Allmusic where you could combine “moods,” I would type in “dramatic,” “evil,” “completely fucking terrifying,” and “dear fucking god let me drone the fuck out.” Maybe, I don’t know. I try not to think about music that often because it is difficult.

In an interview Liliane Giraudon says that intellectuals read more than three hours a day. I don’t feel any necessity to attain the title of “intellectual,” but I would like to be able to spend at least four hours a day reading. And yet right now I am still listening to Alan Parsons Project and staring at a screen, but at least the screen is not currently blank.

I will stop for now.

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